Saturday, August 6, 2011

Tired…

I haven’t updated this blog in months, but felt the need to use this space to rant some today.

I have been through so much shit in the past months, and it bugs me to the point that some people’s actions don’t really surprise me anymore.

I know that it’s during the difficult times in life you find who are your true friends, and regarding some people I know it’s like I had that clock ticking in the back of my mind just waiting for the moment I’d actually witness the reality with my eyes, so I’m hurt – that I seem to have no one to count on, besides my immediate family, that is, I’m really pissed – at myself too, for judging and creating expectations based on my own will to help people whenever and however I can and it's needed, I'm swearing all supposed “friends” off my life – because, frankly, at this moment in my life, if I can’t count on them for support, a phone call, and words of encouragement when I need the most, then fuck them, I am not going to be the one to turn the other cheek and still be there for them. I’m human. I need good friends just like everybody else. So, if you’re not willing to be this friend to me, I’m not going to be it for you either. But can I say I’m surprised? Not really.

You might call it pessimism, or me being some kind of drama queen, which I’d strongly disagree. That’s not me at all. I’m one of THE most practical and no-nonsense people you’ll ever meet, really. I guess I got to a point in my life where I have absolutely no more patience for some people’s bullshit, misleading actions and words, and acting like fucking vampires sucking all energy off you, and then turning their back when they don’t need you anymore.

I do really have some good – and treasured – friends. To these few but very precious people, all my love, support, and know that you have in me – even living in this world with so much deceiving, lying, cheating, and lack of friendship and love – a friend for ups and downs, good and bad times. To the fakes, fuck you. I don’t need you in my life.

To my (possible) future and new friends, you got to know a bit more about me today, and I hope you stick around. I never give up on love, or making new friends even having been burned before. It makes my skin a little bit thicker, but my mind and  heart remain open. :)

And with this, I end my rant moment of the weekend. I hope y’all have a great one!

xoxo
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