I haven’t updated this blog in months, but felt the need to use this space to rant some today.
I have been through so much shit in the past months, and it bugs me to the point that some people’s actions don’t really surprise me anymore.
I know that it’s during the difficult times in life you find who are your true friends, and regarding some people I know it’s like I had that clock ticking in the back of my mind just waiting for the moment I’d actually witness the reality with my eyes, so I’m hurt – that I seem to have no one to count on, besides my immediate family, that is, I’m really pissed – at myself too, for judging and creating expectations based on my own will to help people whenever and however I can and it's needed, I'm swearing all supposed “friends” off my life – because, frankly, at this moment in my life, if I can’t count on them for support, a phone call, and words of encouragement when I need the most, then fuck them, I am not going to be the one to turn the other cheek and still be there for them. I’m human. I need good friends just like everybody else. So, if you’re not willing to be this friend to me, I’m not going to be it for you either. But can I say I’m surprised? Not really.
You might call it pessimism, or me being some kind of drama queen, which I’d strongly disagree. That’s not me at all. I’m one of THE most practical and no-nonsense people you’ll ever meet, really. I guess I got to a point in my life where I have absolutely no more patience for some people’s bullshit, misleading actions and words, and acting like fucking vampires sucking all energy off you, and then turning their back when they don’t need you anymore.
I do really have some good – and treasured – friends. To these few but very precious people, all my love, support, and know that you have in me – even living in this world with so much deceiving, lying, cheating, and lack of friendship and love – a friend for ups and downs, good and bad times. To the fakes, fuck you. I don’t need you in my life.
To my (possible) future and new friends, you got to know a bit more about me today, and I hope you stick around. I never give up on love, or making new friends even having been burned before. It makes my skin a little bit thicker, but my mind and heart remain open. :)
And with this, I end my rant moment of the weekend. I hope y’all have a great one!
I’m not gonna even promise to blog more often, ‘cause I risk not keeping this promise at all, but I had such a wonderful weekend that I just the need to share it here, hehe. And by wonderful I mean my place being calm and quiet, cold outside, warm inside, me being lazy under the covers watching my beloved romantic comedies, or listening to some good music, in bed with my computer, chatting with my friends, writing (Yes people! I’m finally writing some! yay me!), exchanging ideas and very dreamy, girly thoughts with my dear friend @jujuliana both on the Net and on the phone (We live in different cities, but that certainly doesn’t stop us, haha).
Me and Ju are rediscovering our Bon Jovi fandom, not that we’ve ever lost it, but it’s more alive than ever now for reasons unknown to us, and really obvious at the same time. They.are.awesome. Period. She’s very much in love with Mr. Sambora (Come back soon, Richie!!) – That was her, haha. And as for me, Johnny is the man. Mr. John Francis Bongiovi Jr. along with his amazing blue eyes (stink eye and all), strong jawline, hot body, awesome voice and great ass (What? He does have a great ass!) do it for me…*sighs dreamily* Anyway…As I was saying, we’ve been really into Bon Jovi lately. More than ever, I guess, and adding our love for the guys with our love for fan fiction (We’ve been reading and writing Backstreet Boys – Our other dream men – fan fiction for years) and decided to start writing Jovi fiction as well. I started mine, she started hers. We’re going to share it eventually. They’re both in its early stages, but they’ve got potential, hehe. And these stories are extra special for us due to two different reasons: Our first Bon Jovi stories, AND our first stories written in English (If you don’t already know, we’re Brazilian, so our first language is Portuguese). So bare with us possible future readers! We’re doing our very best, hehe!
As for my life things are going from not-so-good to great in different stages. But I’m hopeful, and working harder and harder. My weight loss has been my pride and joy in my personal life. I’m 158,73 lb. off so far, working on losing a few more to reach my goal, watching what/how/how much I eat very closely, following the doctor’s orientations to a tee, wearing a size 8, almost 6, and VERY proud of it!
Well, I’m going back to the first chapter of my story now…I’m feeling very inspired today. A few pages written, many ideas drafted on a separated file. I’m really enjoying writing it, so I hope people do it too. When I put it on the web, that is.